About some sence

About some sence

5 years, 145 days ago

So close to death. I really feel it grabbing for me. I fear him. And long for his embrace, like a lover's.I'm afraid. And I wonder what kind of anxiety is greater than the fear, about possible lived days.What can a living life bring me? The view of the duration of my children?Where is the trust in their existence?And then the question remains about my own existence?What is my assignment?And what should I take from these decades?


I look at my flesh. My flesh that wraps my bones.
 I am amazed at the change. I see how I really feel.
 And I see my end.
 The end as existing being and bodily existence, what this earth feels.
 I can imagine what awaits me behind it. I like to think about it. And I'm glad because I think I'm finally arriving.
 But it always raises the question, if I did not fulfill what I should?
 
 What was my job ??? Why do I have to be? What if my being does not fulfill my purpose?


I look at my flesh. My mate wrapping my bones.
 I am amazed at the change. I see how I really feel.
 And I see my end.
 The end as existing being and bodily existence, what this earth feels.
 I can imagine what awaits me behind it. I like to think about it. And I'm glad because I think I'm finally arriving.
But there is always the question, if I did not fulfill what I should?
 
 What was my job ??? Why do I have to be? What if my being does not fulfill my purpose?